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(This is not a personal letter.)
ILLUSION
It is illusory to think marriage is instituted by mere contract! Marriage is a physical sex act between a virgin female and a male (Ex. 22:16, Dt. 22:13-21, 28, 29)--biblical revelation. The virginity of a woman is proof of a woman's eligibility to marry--natural revelation. The male partner by either sharing or violating the virgin female's chastity becomes either a husband or a polygamist (although legally disallowed in many places), the latter sexual status is in contradiction to a new testament principle of monogamy (I Cor. 7:27). Nature and God's written word, natural and biblical revelation, harmonize as to the enlightenment of the essence of marriage and encourage the continuance of a chaste relationship.
The once virgin female partner no longer has a justifiable opportunity to have sex with anyone else as long as her first male sex partner is alive--to do so would commit fornication. In the case of the female's first man dying, she would have a justifiable opportunity to date or marry someone else (Romans 7:1-3). Sexual experiences with men other than the first man (while he is living) defile the female and commence a degree of unchastity even if the first man were to die. Marriage is based upon the principle of unity ("one flesh" Gn. 2:24) and chastity.
Now, on the other hand, divorce is a psychological-physical separation through commitment (I Cor. 7:10, 11): when the act of divorce is put in writing it becomes a public notice.
So, considering the biblical facts concerning the essence of marriage and divorce, and the world-wide immoral sexual circumstances, there are probably many unregistered (unpublished) marriages (more so than are revealed by statistics, or spoken of) and divorces. Subsequently, due to the disregard of biblical precepts, many unregistered and registered forbidden, but legalized, marriages have resulted.
Br. Ken
P.S.
This instruction and admonition is primarily for young people, but the principles apply for everyone. The vital constitution of marriage--as to what God thinks it is--is under attack today! It is my intention and hope that I may prevent you from ruin, or either help you find the way on to restoration with God. May the Lord bless your understanding. Amen.
THE CONCURRENCE OF MARRIAGE IN REGARD TO
CHOICE OR VIOLATION OF A VIRGIN
Today there are many questions concerning marriage. There are many different views stemming from social, legal, and religious philosophy. From a Christian perspective the biblical law of the Old Testament delineates the boundaries of marriage: the Apostle Paul wrote, "Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth?" (Romans 7:1) Jesus, upholding the guidance of the law, said, "Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil" (Mt. 5:17).
Ancient Israel was subjected to the law and the prophets. The church is the Israel of God today (Gal. 6:16). Christians are subject now to both the New and Old Testaments. Monogamy replaced polygamy in the early church, and celibacy was highly honored.
Sometimes people think of the concurrence of marriage only as the mutual consent of a male and female, but this perception may be an illusion if the female is not a virgin or a widow--marriage was also instituted to prevent unchastity in ancient Israel. God honors moral-sexual cleanliness, purity and unity in marriage. The Lord upheld the virginity of a woman so as if a male violated her chastity he was obligated to marry her. The obedience, moral cleanliness, beauty, glory, purity, magnificence and innocence of virginity possesses perpetual oversight and protection from the Lord. According to Dt. 22:29, a male was commanded to marry (take for a wife) a girl if he raped her; and it was disclosed; and under the condition that she was not engaged to anyone. He was never able to divorce her. The virginity of a girl is more than a state of chastity before marriage--it is the undefiled housing of potential reproduction of life, significance of sexual purity--God honors its holiness and innocence; and he protected the virgin against impulsive divorce once having married. The Old Testament Law states specifically, "She shall continue to be his wife; he must not divorce her as long as he lives" (Dt. 22:19).
Seduction, as well as rape, instituted marriage: "If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his wife" (Ex. 22:16). One translation of the word yefateh (seduces) means that he speaks to her heart until she consents. Another translation is "to persuade." Another means "to deceive." The seduction of a virgin female who was not engaged to anyone determined that the male must marry the girl. Hypothetically, if a girl was induced to have intercourse by the male's promise to marry her, or without such promise she would not have consented to have permitted carnal knowledge with her; or not; is not relevant: the determining factor is that the virginity of the girl was violated through seduction (regardless of what the means of persuasion or enticement may have been).
Thus, according to particular circumstances (regardless of the fact whether there was enticement or not on the part of the female virgin), rape or seduction of a virgin was an act which instituted marriage. However, a girl was expected to scream or complain--to avoid the silence of passivity--to prove that she did not consent to any immoral sexual aggression.
If a man took (chose) a virgin for a wife and hated her afterward (with dissatisfaction), he was not able to divorce her (Dt. 22:13-19). On the other hand, if the girl was not a virgin (even though she pretended to be) and she did not have any proof of chastity, then the male was not obligated to remain married to her (Dt. 22:20, 21).
It is very important for people to understand what the Bible teaches concerning marriage. The Apostle Paul speaks about the subject in I Cor., ch. 7; and in many of the other Scriptures. This paper was written primarily for the instruction and admonition of young people, but the principles apply for everyone. There is a need to be thorough in strengthening and armoring souls by means of teaching, exhorting, encouraging, proclaiming and declaring God's written word to be true and authoritative.
We are living in a time when mockers and false teachers say and do harmful things (Jude, v. 18; II Pet. 3:3). It is important that we distinguish right from wrong concerning sexual matters because marriage is a wonderful blessing for a whole lifetime: so do not be misled by the insidious conduct and false teachings of people who do not obey God. There are men who laugh at seducing a virgin and then leave her, when actually, such men, victims of their own deception, should take the responsibility of a husband to the female victim (Ex. 22:16).
A virgin should be sure that she is walking in the will of the Lord and that her man friend genuinely loves her (Christian) personality before marriage. The male should be walking in the will of the Lord and have a high regard (other than sexual) for his woman friend; and he should be aware of the marital responsibility (consequence ) to lie with a virgin.
It is God's will that you recognize your present marital/sexual status from a Christian perspective. If you would like to date, and possibly marry someday, first consider your own sexual status (whether you are a virgin or not, unmarried or not). Then think upon your circumstances, and decide for yourself whether God would approve of your desire. If he would, also think hypothetically about someone of the opposite sex who seems attractive to you--does this person have an acceptable marital status? If neither you nor the desirable person has been married (with the exception of being a widower or widow), then it would be permissible for you to date. However, since adultery is forbidden, having a romantic relationship with someone who has been married would be sinful and contrary to the will of God.
If you are not sure what your own sexual status is, then remain single and pray to God that he will reveal it to you before you attempt to date anyone. A person who may have been left as not recognized, or recognized and deserted, or publicly divorced may still be a useful Christian (I Cor. 7:10, 11). The important matter is that such a person is willing to allow God to have his holy way. If the situation is that it is not biblically permissible for a person to date any one, God still loves single people and wants to bless anyone who is willing to yield to him--He remains faithful. A person may be grateful for salvation, and helpful in Christian work even though the opportunity for marriage has been lost.
Now, the biblical requirement for females to marry is chastity, yet the slightest carnal knowledge may defile a virgin.
However, the biblical requirement for males to marry is not the same. There are situations wherein potential male mates-to-be are not virgins. Such persons may have previously committed fornication, sexual acts which did not necessarily institute marriage according to the terms previously discussed--(Ex. 22:16, Dt. 22:13-21, 28, 29). Marriage may still be a blessed opportunity for such males, especially upon commitment to honor God.
If you are single and you know God would allow you to marry, ask God in prayer to lead and keep you safe in dating. Be holy and patient, and anticipate God's direction and providence; look for these same attributes in the other person also. It is a cherishing thought that every male have a female virgin, and every female a male virgin.
The chastity requirement of a virgin female should be recognized by a dating couple, and their relatives and friends; if not, be careful! Friends who do not regard God's commandments are dangerous if you listen to them: Do not let such people influence your life or your date's (he or she should agree) because this very thing would have a negative effect on your future and bring ruin upon you for the rest of your life. Note the different dating characteristics of blessed Jacob, and his brother, Esau, whom God hated.
There may be many people you will want to meet! Walk circumspectfully as to whom you desire to date, and search out his or her background to prevent a sin of overreaching by ignorance: not all attractive people are honest and candid about their prior sexual relationships; and many who are do not regard the Christian perspective toward marriage.
Furthermore, I don't think a person should date someone who is not willing to trust and obey Jesus Christ. Kissing is not necessary to know someone intimately--that can wait for marriage. Avoid college co-ed dorming. Abstain from all appearance of evil.
SPIRITUAL ISSUES CONCERNING MARRIAGE AND FORNICATION
Fornication is the physical sex act which results in unchastity whereas marriage does not. A woman naturally manifests her chastity to her mate in marriage by evidence of her virginity. The infinitive construct of the word zaw-naw'(Dt. 22:21), meaning "to fornicate," correlates with the NT phrase " ... on account of fornication ... " (I Cor. 7:2). Paul's intention is demonstrated to encourage a single unmarried man to marry a single unmarried woman whom he would desire to go to bed with for the purpose of preventing the evil situation of unchastity or fornication: " ... let each man have his own wife ...." Verses 2-5, furthermore, reveal the bond, sexual need and responsibility to supply the need of a married couple. Nevertheless, verses Ex. 22:16 and Dt. 22:13-20, 28, 29 support the precept to prevent fornication, and to constitute and induce marriage.
Verses I Cor. 7:10, 11 deal with the category of people, (ge-ga-may-ko'-seen) "those who have been married," translated as though they continue to exist as being married--the verb is a perfect participle. In case of a separation among the mates there are two alternatives:
(1) the woman must live separated without marrying anyone else, or
(2) she may be reconciled to her husband. However, there is a danger in separation, because if the woman subsequently commits adultery, then according to Dt. 24:4 she would forfeit her opportunity of reconciliation to her husband due to defilement. Thus, she would have to remain alone at least as long as her husband is alive.
There is a difference between polygamy and adultery; and there is also a difference between the marriage of a widow, and polygamy.
The NT clearly distinguishes monogamy or celibacy from the former trend of polygamy in the O.T. The Scriptures I Cor. 7:26, 27 constitute a change in the family life, comparatively speaking, because in the O.T. the men took as many wives as they desired; but according to verses 26 and 27, to the contrary, the limit for a male virgin is one at most--"Are you loosed from a wife? Seek not a wife ...," whereas in the O.T. the men were not required to cease marrying due to being loosed from a wife. During the time the gospels and epistles were written, there may have been some converted polygamists still living, and how the apostles dealt with that situation is not clear to me concerning a specific scriptural account; however, it is distinguished through Paul's instruction to male virgins that they are allowed to be married, but in the case they should be loosed--they should not seek a second marriage. The man of the NT is instructed as having a mollifiable heart seeking re-unification of a broken marriage, if it is possible. But, if not, then remaining unmarried is the only allowable alternative.
On the other hand, Paul encourages celibacy (I Cor. 7:1) more so than marriage, which is a different trend than the O.T. cases except for the eunuchs.
Furthermore, there is also a commendation for the aged widow who has not remarried in I Tim. 5:9. Also note I Cor. 7:8.
So, after Christ there was a change from polygamy to either monogamy or celibacy, which is the Christian way. There are several verses pointing toward closeness and concern more so with God than with marriage and concerns of the world, and widowhood is approved more so than another marriage (which would be lawful of the widow so desired, but celibacy is more honorable).
Links:
Scripture References:
Illusion explained
No Cheap Sex: Dowry Required
Hyperlinked version of this sermon (with video)
EMAIL:
If this message has been meaningful to you, please send your comments to Ken. If you would like to share with others and you are a Christian, separatist or enthusiast, use the Dating and Marriage forum; otherwise, use the public forum.
Dating and Marriage; Divorce Other Literature About the Learn NT. Greek
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