MAN'S SECOND CULTURAL MARRIAGE BACKGROUND CHECK
In order for me to be able to verify a person as a faithful brother through marriage of a second wife, I would have to know some things about him: his first wife, second wife and himself. First of all, was his first wife a virgin? If she wasn't a virgin and she wasn't a chaste widow, then I can't say his marriage to her was a legitimate, biblical marriage rather than a mere cultural marriage. Second, was his second wife a virgin? If she was, then that would comply with Ex. 22 and Dt. 22. However, if she wasn't, what would make her any different than the case with the first wife, a woman of fornication? Third, has he any obligations to any former virgins. If the answer is yes, and the former defiled virgin is still living, it would cause the former defiled virgin problems to restore her relationship with him. Once a marriage bond through physical deposit has already been created, if it is not completed, it leaves the former virgin unable to marry another man. (See the KayyPeaa page.) All these questions pertain to determining whether a second marriage is biblically legitimate in a worldly and cultural environment. Transparency is needed. A Christian has to determine these things.
Let's take an example: I saw a post on YouTube of a man who said, “Im going through a divorce now. Never was a covenant marriage since her first husband is still living”. I replied to him:
“Seems you never had a biblical marriage to begin with. If you married her as a chaste and legitimate wife of her former husband, you committed adultery; if she was not a chaste woman to her former husband, seems you committed fornication. However, if you have no living defiled virgins, which would obligate you, your experience would be a premise for disqualification of a deacon if you married afterward. Someone like Kenneth Copeland or John Hagee could not qualify as a deacon. Both have had more than one woman (wife). Actually, so-called ministers as such should be shunned at the doors of any congregation without express apology and separation from their partners. Copeland must annul his adulterous relationship, if not fornication, with Gloria. Hagee must bring transparency about his former and present wives. With repentance and separation, both could support the body of Christ without taking an office. You do not have to be a church official to be a Christian, but you do have to be without complaint of immorality or backsliding into a sin (falling away) to be a deacon. The deacon should be an example of a pure man going forward in grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ, giving the newcomer hope to look forward to improvement and more blessing. Virgin-status males before marriage are really an inspiration.
“A study on Mt. 19:9
“We know that betrothal could be annulled due to female defilement, but the word fornication (“immorality”) is not limited to betrothal. Nevertheless, the first part of the compound predicate, whoever “divorces” his wife, only legally and spiritually stops the current relationship of marital uncleanliness due to the fornication phrase–“except for immorality”–the offense (see Eph. 5:5), the lack of morality, divine amd pure union structure and holiness (Eph.5:22-33); it is the second part of the compound predicate that reveals the committing of adultery–and “marries” another woman. It seems to me, I suppose we can assume the first part of the compound predicate, "divorces", in one sense implies that it is proper to put away a defiled woman of fornication even as Joseph was thinking about putting away Mary, the mother of Jesus. The divorcer would not even be prevented from marrying another. However, the remedy and exception phrase of a case of betrothal could not be the same as a case wherein a defiled dowry wife (which required female virginity and chastity) who committed lesbianism or other form of sexual defilement. Then, it seems the divorcer would not be tolerated to marry another due to the expiration of polygamy. (See I Cor. 7:27, Mark 10:11) On the other hand, however, if fornication were expanded to mean such immorality it would not negate or nullify Jesus' explanation of betrothal marriage concerning divorce and marriage. The former case would have involved the woman in an act of defilement before consummation with the divorcer, whereas the latter would not have.”
So, it seems a man who is not obligated to any virgins and divorces from a non-biblical marriage, whether due to the impurity of the woman it was fornication or adultery, does not necessarily morally prevent the man from marrying a virgin or chaste widow in the future.
However, the immorality of the previous illegitimate bond would seem to be a disqualification for a present or future position as an officer in the church. Nevertheless, on the other hand, a father of a girl who is not totally sure of his daughter's boyfriend's background would not want to give his daughter to a man who is obligated for taking the virginity of another woman: doing so may be considered enabling the violator of purity and the violated female would not be able to marry anyone else. Giving his daughter to such a man of desertion of responsibility would leave her with a haunted relationship. Also, many bright, female virgins would want to avoid being compared to some past love. Youth ministries and fornication-prevention leaders should be promoting the absence from immorality, the blamelessness of male virginity and the necessity of female virginity before marriage.
(See the timeline on the YouTube site.)
Links:
Second Cultural Marriage Issues